Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Our Story

I'm going to try to write down in a few posts what has happened in my life since January 12, 2010. Here goes!

On January 12, I was at a meeting for teachers about reading strategies. I had my phone on vibrate but moved early in the meeting as I couldn't see. I left my purse and coat in the chair so I never heard the vibrate go off-it's pretty loud for something that's supposed to be silent:) The meeting was wrapping up about 6:00 pm and as I went to get my stuff, a teacher said that somebody must need to get a hold of me because my phone had gone off over and over again. I thought that was kind of weird, I don't usually get too many phone calls. So I checked my messages and got this text:

Know you are heartsick and worried frantic about Haiti tragedy. Thinking of you and praying for Elliott's safety.

Then my voicemail said something very similar from another dear friend. I had NO IDEA what these messages were referencing as I had gone right from school to the meeting-no outside contact. I borrowed a computer and went online and saw all the headlines.

I honestly can say I have never been so scared in my entire life. Not even when the little plane we were in in the 80's had its landing gear frozen in the up position and the pilot was jerking the plane up and down to try to shake the gear loose. As we flew over and past three airports. That was bad but this was a hundred times worse. It was terror I was feeling and terror is blinding, consuming, adrenaline pumping, mind-numbing horror. All I could do was picture my baby in a pile of rubbish. And I was 3,000 miles away.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010


Elliott MAY get to come home this week. I am in desperate need of funds to help defray these unexpected costs. Please tell your friends about Elliott and give them my address. I hate to beg for money but I need help.
Julie Enyeart

7377 Old Redmond Rd
Redmond, WA 98052

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Please pray for Haiti

My son and his orphanage are all ok. The building sustained some damage. I haven't heard from all the bloggy friends I follow yet. Please pray for them and everyone in Haiti. What a horribly tragic thing to happen to a horribly tragic country.

Thursday, January 7, 2010


I got a massage tonight. 90 minutes of bliss! My shoulders tend to ride up to my ears and stay there. My shoulders feel much better. My legs feel great too. I bought a membership so that I would get a massage once a month. I now have five or six massages racked up. Not doing so well on the getting a massage once a month schedule.

Taking care of myself is something I need to do better. I could use a new pedicure too!

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

This is hard!

I am totally blank tonight. I thought I wanted to write about Little Man but I don't think I can yet. I don't want to face that he is really not doing well. I just want to enjoy the time he has left until it's time to let him go.

And that's really all I have today. Lame, huh?

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Things I like:

fresh baked bread
kitty snuggles
chocolate...of any kind!
my ratty old recliner
puppy breath
Barack Obama
Elliott's hand in mine

Things that I don't like:

forwarded emails that threaten you for non-compliance
sending out negative energy into the world (see above!)
mean people
being social in a new setting
Elliott's hand so far from mine

Monday, January 4, 2010

Tired Monday

It was sooo hard to get to sleep last night. I was anticipating getting up and getting ready for school and wanting to be well such luck! I need to figure out how to turn my brain off!

It was sooo wonderful to be back at school! I love having a schedule and seeing the kids again and hearing about their Christmases.

It was sooo hard to answer "no new news" to people who asked about Elliott today. I think about him all the time but when someone asks and I have to say "nope, nothing new" it makes my heart a little sad. But my heart would be even sadder if no one asked about him!

It was sooo awesome to get the home study update in my mailbox today! I just have to send this off to the US Immigration office in Texas to get my i-600a form (the form I need to get the form to get Elliott's passport).

It was sooo hard to watch my 18 1/2 year old cat wobble and weave on his legs tonight. When does it go from me keeping him alive with all this medicine and I know he's happy, and when am I keeping him alive selfishly for me?

It is soooooooooo amazingly wonderful talking, writing, thinking about my son. I can't wait to see him again!


Sunday, January 3, 2010

Watching football

I LOVE football. I adored my dad and when I was growing up he loved watching football so I would watch with him. He taught me all about the game. We started watching the Seahawks from the very beginning. I remember Jim Zorn and Steve Largent, what perfection they could be together. I heard Jim Zorn is going to lose his head coaching position with the Washington Redskins and I think that's a shame. I hope someone else gives him a try. I also remember some of the crazy plays they used to run and sometimes they even worked!

When Debbie and I were 21 or 22, we were gifted with tickets when her mom and stepdad couldn't go-great seats and so much fun! I was over the moon in love with Jacob Green. Saw him up close a few times-his neck was as big as a tree trunk. When we didn't have tickets, we would often go to one of the bars next to the King Dome and watch the game with other FWOT's (Fans With Out Tickets). Debbie had gone to high school with one of the cheerleaders so we were on the fringe of the football in-crowd. Often players would come in after the game and that was so much fun!

When I moved to Indiana for grad school, I had to add another favorite team, the Indianapolis Colts. I must say, it's a bit more satisfying to root for the Colts:) But the Seahawks will always be my number one team, win or lose! I could only see one or two Seahawk games a year back there. I'd scour the schedule and try to find a game that would air on tv in Bloomington, IN. Thank goodness for the internet so I could at least find out how the game was going. I also was at Indiana University when Antwaan Randle-El was playing there. The joke used to be that if it was a legal move, then he could just throw the ball and run and catch it himself and we might actually win a game or two.

Football is something I'm very much looking forward to sharing with Elliott. I watch football all day long on Sundays and I can't wait to watch with him. We'll have popcorn and juice, maybe grill hot dogs or hamburgers, and it will be a ritual we share. I think rituals are very important to help us bond as a family. I look forward to creating many rituals with Elliott, from bedtime stories to dinner at the table to watching football. I sure hope he likes it!

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Why I Like Harry Potter

Harry Potter books and movies are among my most favorite things in the world. They are such a great exploration of friendship, bravery, loyalty, and integrity. Harry struggles with doing what is hard because it is the right thing to do and not taking the easy way out. There is a line in Sorcerer's Stone where Professor Dumbledore is giving Neville points because:
"It's one thing to stand up to your enemies, it's another to stand up to your friends." Sometimes Harry finds himself quite alone and has to convince his friends he is doing the right thing. Not that he does the right thing always but he certainly tries his best.

So I'm wondering tonight how can I try my best? How can I do right now what needs to be done and do my best? How do I do my best when I'm without my boy? I was reading a post about the exhaustion of Christmas and I realized that I crammed so many things into the days up until Christmas that I had no time to think. Then when it was all over, I crashed.

I gave everyone in my family the book The Shack. In it the father describes his pain over losing his daughter as "The Great Sadness". I think I like the book so much because I can relate to that description. I've never had my own child and my body couldn't nurture and grow a baby and that has been part of my Great Sadness. Now that I have actually been to Haiti and held Elliott in my arms, its that intense sadness again.

Again, how do I do my best? How do I define best? When do I give myself a break and when do I need a kick in the *ss? And how do I share that with others when I am almost painfully shy and hate to appear needy?

That's why I've decided to try blogging for a year, inspired by the amazing mom bloggers at It's About Time and The Clark Circus. (Hope these links work, I've never tried this before). I want to remember this journey to my son whom I need as much as he needs me.


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