I wonder...

why adoption from Haiti takes so long?
why it's so hard to express what I'm feeling?
when I'll go back to Haiti?
who will go with me?
what will I take?
how to ask for donations when I'm so incredibly shy? and I HATE to ask for help?
why do I hate to ask for help?
will I be able to blog every day for a year?

I'm going to try! Not entirely sure what I'll be writing about but thought I'd give it a try. So here's blog entry #1 for 2010.

Happy New Year!

Blessings,
Julie

Wonderful Christmas Time

I had a lovely but wistful Christmas. Shared my video from Haiti with my family. It was wonderful to watch it again and to have them share in my sweet baby boy. My mom had wrapped a gift that said to Julie and Elliott - our first Christmas gift! Inside was the sweetest little brown baby ornament and a little snowglobe with the letter e inside. I love snowglobes! So precious to have my baby recognized at Christmas. They all enjoyed my Christmas card too:) Wish I could figure out how to post it here.

Missing my boy. Waiting for more paperwork. Trying to finish painting and moving out some furniture to have Elliott's bedroom all ready. Missing my boy. Wishing he were home. Waiting is very, very hard. I am trying to keep busy. Doesn't really help, though!

Blessings,
Julie

Christmas Baking

I had the appointment from you-know-where today and was in a tizzy. So what do I do when I'm in a tizzy? I call my older sister and ask her to come over and bake cookies for Christmas. We made sugar cookies and peanut butter fudge. We also made the dough for these delicious Chocolate Crinkles I found a new recipe for this year. I've also tinkered with it (of course) so they are a bit more dark chocolatey. They have to chill overnight so I'll bake them in the morning. It seems like we made more than that! My kitchen is a disaster and it smells soooooo good in my house.

I can't wait until next year to bake cookies with Elliott. I hope he likes to bake. I wonder what cookies will become his favorite? I've also wondered if he'll like hot chocolate with marshmallows. His cousins Danny and Travis love it so it will be fun to have the three boys together drinking hot chocolate. I wish I could send him a whole box of yummy Christmas goodies. I know we'll have lots of years to make Christmas memories and I'm looking forward to it!

Blessings,
Julie

Such sadness

My heart breaks for this couple. It is the fear those of us who have children in orphanages far away that the biological family will return and try to take their bio child back. Please pray for them.

http://countdowntohomecoming.blogspot.com/

It's almost Christmas

and I miss my boy. I've been trying to focus on enjoying school and friends and family but not always successfully. Before I went to Haiti and met Elliott in person, I thought about him quite often but now that I know him, I think about him all the time. ALL THE TIME. I wonder what he is doing, I worry about his health (Elliott has just the usual illnesses of kids in orphanages- a cough, tinea, dry skin), I think about how fun it would be to have him here doing whatever I'm doing at the time. I am trying hard to get another paper filed that should have been filed awhile ago and very worried it will make things slow down.

So those are the hard things. Here are some of the wonderful things: remembering holding him in my arms while he slept. Listening to his giggle on the video. Looking into his eyes in the pictures. Remembering the feel of his little, tiny hand in mine as he would pull me along to show me something. Happy that he didn't want to share me with the other kids. Looking at bedding and trying to decide how to decorate my son's room. Thinking about how fun it will be next Christmas to share baking and wrapping and decorating with him. Absolutely grateful for the blessing of having a son. Being a mother is amazing.

Blessings to all!

Haiti 11-09

Click here to view these pictures larger

Haiti 11-09

Click here to view these pictures larger

Thanksgiving

What was/am I grateful for this year?

Being a mama is #1! The joy I felt holding Elliott is beyond anything I've ever experienced. I just felt so connected to him that at times I thought my heart would just burst with love and happiness. I cannot wait to have him home so we can be a "forever family".

My niece Jennifer and her husband Rob hosting their first Thanksgiving for the families! I was so proud of her and am so grateful to have her in my life. I love her and Rob so much!

Logan-the baby of Jennifer and Rob. I love seeing the world through his eyes. Everything is an adventure and life is to be lived full on. Logan is bright, curious, sweet, and smart. It sometimes feels a bit strange having a great-nephew and being a new mama! I can't wait for these two to meet!

Garrett. What can I say about the boy who has my heart? My nephew is smart and funny and helpful and kind and sassy and awesome. I have loved every weekend we have spent together for the past four years. He is Jennifer's little brother and I love them both so much.

My mom whom I too often take for granted and forget to enjoy her and appreciate all that she has done for me and my sisters. I love her very much and am glad she is part of my life.

My best friend/cousin Debbie and her family. She helps me keep my perspective, shares her love and her family, and helps me laugh at myself and at life! She has two beautiful children and a handsome husband, all of whom I also adore.

My sisters Sheri and Karen. What can you say about sisters? They know everything about me from childhood. They remind me of my many foibles and idiosyncrasies (ie: using big words!!) from when I was young and help me remember to be grateful for all we had growing up.

My almost a grown man nephew Lucas. He is quiet and smart and kind and solid. He has a great sense of humor and I am so glad he is my nephew. We don't spend as much time together as we did when he was young. Amazing how busy teenagers are these days! I have great faith in Lucas and know he will be an accomplished and wonderful adult.

My dad. I miss him every day. When you've had unconditional, always there, solid as a rock love, its hard not to miss that and feel that loss. This is especially true of the holidays. He never even knew Garrett and how sad is that for my dad and Garrett? I love it when we tell Papa stories when we get together and keep his memory alive for all of us, even those who know him only through our stories.

I am grateful for a God who recognizes my frailties and loves me anyway. I have a hard time being a shout it from the rooftops person but I know that the universe is an amazing and wonderful place and am happy to praise God in my own way.

What are you grateful for? I'd love to hear from you!

Love, Julie

Meet my son!

Back from Haiti!
What a trip. I absolutely loved meeting Elliott. We got to the orphanage and they brought him to me in the baby room. I will always remember seeing him in the doorway. He came in and he came right to me. It was really wonderful. He is charming, sweet, laid-back, wants me to himself, loves to lead me around, likes to be held, likes to jabber. When he is trying to repeat something I'm saying, he'll bob his head and tap his feet at the same time. He has a sweet laugh and his eyes are like pools of deep chocolate. I could stare at him for hours (and did, while he was sleeping). It was magical and amazing. I feel very much like a mom now, more so than I've ever felt before. The days were kind of a routine, meals and naps. He had preschool in the morning.

I was thrilled to be traveling with Marty and Daniela and their son. They were visiting their daughter who is a year and a half old. They were an amazing family and helped me so much with everything. It was great to have their support! Elliott and I will have to go visit them!

Here's a link to my pix on Shutterfly. Go down to the photo book and click on the single page view in the upper right corner. username: petsrgr8t@gmail.com password: Tootsie6 **OR TRY password: elliott09 You shouldn't need it but just in case! Hope it works!

http://elliotthaiti09.shutterfly.com/

What a day!

I woke up very early, at my usual time today but as I had last looked at the clock around midnight, it was too early!! The cats were being their usual selves but it felt extra obnoxious. So I ignored them and went back to sleep. I had meant to be at the driver licensing office by 8:30 but decided to check my bank account. Ack!! Over $500 is missing. Are you kidding me? Right before I'm going out of the country? I called Bank-not-of-@merica and asked about my missing trip money. They don't know what I'm talking about. They want me to print out all my records and bring them in. Again, are you kidding me? Like I have time for that today? So I said no, I'd take care of it later. Got showered, dressed, fixed my hair and makeup for my picture and as I was getting into my car trying to protect my makeup in the pouring rain, managed to practically knock my self out, I hit my head so hard. Instant headache. Lump on my forehead (under the hair so it won't show in the picture-golly, I'm vain!) that throbbed most of the day. So I drove to get my license and went in to wait. And wait. And wait.

The rest of the day went better. Went to Costco, got some supplies for Elliott's orphanage, some snacks for us, and pictures for his bed. Now I'm working on washing all my clothes and trying to decide just what to pack. I have to be somewhat dressed for winter as I am leaving from Seattle but it was 90 degrees and 87% humidity Wednesday in Haiti. Hot!

I am just going to focus on one step at a time tonight and pray for sleep. I can't wait to see Elliott!