5 days until Miami, 7 days until Haiti

I am so nervous, excited, and scared. My brain is having a REALLY hard time shutting off and going to sleep so I'll update instead. I fly to Miami on the red-eye Sunday night, spend Monday night in Miami, and then fly to Haiti Tuesday morning. I am going with another family I will meet at the airport.

Tonight I got my hair done because being even blonder will help me fit right in...NOT! But my roots were driving me crazy and I was vain enough not to want our pictures of our first meeting to have roots in my hair. Gack! Just writing that sentence down makes me seem so shallow:) I do have other things on my mind, like what the heck to pack. I got a passport holder that goes around my neck, a travel bag for the shower, and some bug spray with DEET. Yep, DEET, the stuff that's really bad for you. But it's that or get malaria from the mosquitoes. I tried some on my wrist to make sure I'm not allergic and this one doesn't even have much of a smell. Now I'm trying to decide if I want to check the weather reports, as its still hurricane season.

Besides all the packing questions and making sure I have everything I need, there's the what is going to happen when I see Elliott for the first time? Will he cry? What is he going to think when this white lady he's never seen before wants to hold him and tell him she loves him? Will he laugh and play with me? Will he get some idea of just how much he is loved? How much I think of him, every day, every hour? Will he know that I believe God has brought us together? Will I overwhelm him with my own emotions? Will he feel the healing he has already brought to my heart after 20 years of wanting a child? What the hell am I going to do when I have to say good-bye?

Only time will tell. And if you read this, please send a prayer our way for us to connect and have a wonderful time together. Please say a prayer for my safe journey. I am grateful, oh so grateful, for this amazing and joyous experience. Blessings to all who read this! Peace be with you!

Elliott is 2 today!

Elliott's birthday is today. I've been just a whirlwind of emotions. Looking forward to all the birthdays we will have together. Wondering what his birth was like. I know it was at home. Happy to have a son whose birthday I can celebrate. Desperately sad that he's not here to wish him happy birthday, make him a cake, shower him with presents, and hug him and tell him how much he is loved. Thankful that we are in Parquet, I never thought we would be here so fast. Thankful that he is only two and I'll have lots of time to read to him and help him get caught up. But I'd rather have all these lovely, mixed emotions because they mean I'm almost a mama.

Please consider donating to Elliott's orphanage. Here's the URL:
http://chances4childrendonations.blogspot.com/

We are having a food box drive but checks are always gladly accepted!

Haiti, Here I come!

I'm finally going to Haiti to meet my son! I am so excited! I'm really nervous, too. I've been reading through blogs of other adoptive parents and I know that I can't expect too much at first. I'm a stranger to Elliott, after all. It's funny, because I look at his pictures all the time and he is on my mind all the time. My heart is so full of love for him and he really feels like my son, yet he has no idea who I am except for some pictures. I am excited to meet Elliott so he can know me. And I also just cannot wait to hold him and kiss those cheeks!

My Big Boy

It's been forever since I posted but I was feeling like I had not much to say. Elliott's dossier is in IBESR now-yippee!! We moved to step two rather quickly. This is the step that can take quite long-two months to over a year. So let's pray for quick movement and smooth sailing.

Elliott is twenty-two months old now. He weighs 22.5 lbs. He is almost 28 inches tall. He is learning to feed himself. I've posted some new pix-he is looking so much more like a little boy and not a baby.

Sometimes my heart just aches to bring him home. At night I think about all the things we could be doing right now, reading him a book before bed, nighttime kisses, waiting to listen to him fall asleep. Then I plan out a typical summer morning for us, Elliott waking up and running into my room, climbing on the bed and saying Mama, Mama, wake up! And I'll smile at him and say Good Morning, Sunshine! (My Aunt Sandy used to say that to us when I would spend the night and I loved it.) Then we would wander out to the kitchen and fix breakfast and plan the rest of our day together. Sometimes my daydreams are all that give me hope.

4th of July

I spent the 4th of July with one of my favorite families; my cousin, her husband and their two precious sons. Their neighborhood out in the country does a bang-up job of shooting off fireworks. This year we got to enjoy the view from their new (and beautiful) front porch. We talked about many things but what was especially nice was to talk about Elliott/Dimy and hope that he will be with us by the next 4th of July. Here are some of our thoughts:

• Will he like the fireworks or will the noise scare him?
• Has he ever seen fireworks before?
• Won't it be fun to see him play with D. and T.?
• Will he be home by then? I hope and pray!
  

Please pray for speedy paperwork processing and for Elliott/Dimy to know how very much his mama loves him and that there are lots of people who already love him as well.

An update

I have a few new pix of Elliot/Dimy. Here's what the mom who took the pictures had to say about him:
"Dimy is one chubby happy baby. He reminded me of a teddy bear. He was gone for appointments for most of the time that we were there, but we were able to spend some time with him and snap a few pics of him at meal time just before we left. He is super happy and smiley and he’s huge."

I wish he would smile for the camera! Only one pic from when he was really little is he smiling. Oh well, it was lovely to hear about him and see new pix. I'm also not sure what appointments he was going to but I know that they have to take the babies to Port-Au-Prince to do legal paperwork sometimes so I'm hoping that means his paperwork is going smoothly. I haven't heard ANYTHING from C4C or the creche since late May and am really aching to know how far we are in the process. I still need to send in my paperwork to the FBI so they can fingerprint me although since I've been a teacher in two different states, I've been fingerprinted many times already. The redundancy of the paperwork is a bit trying.

I miss my little guy and think of him all day. He is never far from my thoughts. I want him home so very badly!

Summertime...

And the livin' is easy...or so goes the song. I'm one of those weirdos who don't really like summer vacation. It's too long! I like structure and routine. I like school! I wish we had year round school with two week breaks and then a five week break in summer. It's an anachronistic schedule that no longer serves us well, especially the students I serve. I'm a Title I teacher and so I teach reading to struggling students. They would be so much better served in a year round model. It really is better for all the kids. There are some very innovative programs out there and I hope we start moving towards a better model for our kids.

No new news on Elliott/Dimy. Children are coming home from the creche and new babies are being admitted so that means more and more children are moving through the Haitian adoption maze. He is never far from my mind, though.

Life

I am finding it a bit easier to think of "my son". It is starting to feel more natural. I carry pix with me wherever I go and show him off. I am on a forum for families adopting from the same creche (orphanage) and was sent a story about Dimy that just melted my heart. A little girl was in the crib next to him and her parents were leaving and saying goodbye and she was crying. Dimy reached over and patted her on the head as if to say "it's ok". I have heard from quite a few families who have met him and they all say he is so sweet. I can't wait to meet him!

My computer was acting up last night and so this is a continuation of last evening's post. I was on the forum again today (surprise, surprise!) and one of the other moms posted that she was in Haiti right now to pick up her son and she would go and check on Dimy! Then she posted again and said he is WALKING!! Yeah! I was a little worried since he wasn't walking two months ago. Dimy came right up to her and let her hold him and kiss him. She said he sat down next to another baby and was rubbing that baby's back. I love these stories about him. I am so excited. And to hear about him being so caring to the other children, that is so awesome in so many ways. Attachment can be an issue for many of these children and this shows that he can care for others. I also love knowing that he observes the world around him and reacts in a loving way. I feel so very, very blessed. I really just have so much love in my heart for him and it grows every day.

We are a family!

Good, great, exciting, surreal news-baby Dimy is mine and I am his! He is 19 months old and so cute. i got the paperwork last week and its taken me a week or so to write about it because it has taken awhile to sink in. I'm getting more comfortable saying "my son" and I really think he looks like an Elliot so I am calling him that as well. I wish I could go pcik him up tomorrow but it will still be a year or so before I can bring him home. I manot sure if I'll be able to go and meet him this summer or not. My dossier has to be in IBESR (like DSHS here) before I can go. I'm just so anxious to hold him and talk to him and let him know how much I love him and what life will belike for us.

I am rearranging my condo and making a room for him. I've started knitting a baby blanket, just a really simple patterna nd three colors-chocolate, blue, and green. I am also moving and painting all kinds of things here and will probably need a good part of the summer to finish everything I want to accomplish.

So now I wait again but knowing my baby is waiting for me makes it so much better!

And now we wait...

That's the royal we-I'm including all my family and friends. I FINALLY have all the glitches fixed. I had to send five documents to the state to be authenticated (they have to certify that the notary is a real notary) then off to Chicago again so the Haitian consulate can register the documents. This is the same path all of my other documents have gone down. I got them back and sent them to Chances for Children office in Portland, OR. From there they go to Haiti! So I can only pray that they pick me and will let my little boy and I be matched forever.

It's Mother's Day coming up-wouldn't that be a lovely present?I have ignored Mother's Day for about six or so years, ever since my hysterectomy. I am planning to hang out with my family this year. We are going to the zoo, if it doesn't rain, and then to Jennifer and Rob's for dinner. It should be fun! I love the zoo.